I've often read that Denmark is a particularly difficult country to move to because it is extremely hard to infiltrate. Danes in general don't talk to strangers and when you move here from somewhere else, you are, by definition, a stranger, so it is incredibly hard to find a way into their society.
As a Scottish person, it is really apparent from day one. When you are standing in a queue at the local supermarket, even for an extended period of time, no one turns to you and mentions the weather, you don't get their plans are for the evening, you're not introduced to each of their grandchildren, be that in person or in snaps they carry in their purse. By the time you reach the front of the queue, you still have no idea of the person in front of you's native language, let alone their holiday plans, their politics, or the name of their cat. It is just plain weird. In Scotland, as a bit of an introvert, I did find it a bit much at times that you were almost always forced to talk to everyone in the queue, especially the older people and a full-on conversation at the till was compulsory rather than a rather stony Danish 'Hello, that'll be 200kr,. Would you like your receipt? Have a good evening' However, these interactions with strangers are one of the things I now relish most when I am back in Scotland. Never once do I find myself at a till without a full-on chat. I talk to all the little old ladies who are looking for company and I positively enjoy the human interaction. It's funny the bits of your own culture you had no idea mattered to you. In Glasgow in particular, these interactions remind me so much of my childhood and all the working-class Glaswegian matriarchs of my past - the strong, no-nonsense, salt-of-the-earth types who without a penny would give everything they had.
From the outset here, you are left wondering if Danes are really stand-offish or if they are simply the shyest people on the planet. Sometimes, I feel they are looking for an in to chat to you, other times they simply seem efficient and disinterested. I read somewhere that Danes dislike the superficial, preferring to have meaningful relationships, but as someone who is very alone here, superficial would actually feel meaningful. I guess, in a more equal society, where everyone works, there isn't that same need for human contact that I know from back home, especially when I was a child. Many women in my mother's generation saw no one all day long and got their only human contact in these situations. Here everyone has colleagues for that, presumably.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just be a Scottish person and talk to strangers. Some will think me weird but I guess the odd old person might actually enjoy a chat with a foreign stranger... The jury's out.
